Lies
by Lilac Deserts
Summary: What if Sweden's feelings were never returned? I do not own Hetalia. Small trigger warning, though, since this is a kind of emotional torture.
1. Chapter 1

Finland had never been one to complain. At least, to the rest of the world. He was thankful for every piece of food he's eaten, yes, due to his history of having to go without. He was thankful for each day surrounded by people he enjoyed. He was thankful that his country was strong, healthy, and functioning. But there was one person who Finland entrusted with his dark comments; His selfish, his lewd, his _whines_.. One person who listened to all of it; Estonia. Finland's dearest friend.

''-And he recently bought me a dog. It's the sweetest thing- But he didn't need to get it for me.'' Finland told his friend, taking a swig of his alcoholic drink.

''You need to leave him. This is leading him on.'' Estonia shook his head.

''I- I can't leave him. I don't want his feelings hurt- The worst case scenario that he actually hurts me or something. But I don't want him to know I only see him as the guy who I escaped with, centuries ago.''

''It's going to be worse when you tell him later on. It's already bad enough that you let him think you loved him for this long.''

''I know.. I just.. can't get myself out of this hole, yknow?"

''You'll need to get it out one day. And I wish you the best of luck when he does find out. Anyways, you probably need to get going. You told him you'd be hanging out until 11- It's 3am.''

''..Could you drive me home? I feel dizzy.''

''You're the one who came over for a drink from me.'' Estonia nodded, though, ''But yes, I'll drive you home.''

* * *

Finland got out of Estonia's car, waving to him as he walked up to his porch. He smiled as he opened the front door- But then that faltered when he saw a very tired Sweden on the couch.

Sweden looked over at Finland, rushing over to him to fuss over him. The usual of 'are you okay', 'why were you gone so long', and 'I missed you so much.' Finland tried to assure Sweden that he was alright, that Sweden shouldn't have waited for him, and that he missed him too.

The part of the day Finland looks forward to is going to sleep. Not getting into bed with Sweden, not hesitantly giving him a kiss goodnight just to put on the lie that he loves him, not waking up to Sweden protectively holding onto him..

Just, when Finland falls asleep and goes into a land of dreams he knows would never come true. Dreams of sweets, saunas, and alcoholic drinks. Of course, other things too, like an alternate reality of Finland never getting into the Nordics, where he can't decide if its a nightmare or a really good dream. But Finland feels calm nevertheless. Calm like he's floating on a sea of stars, never to come back down to Earth to face the mess he's made. Never go face the consequences of leading someone on.

But alas, Finland will have to wake up sometime.

The alarm goes off and Finland stirs before he blinks open his eyes to find that Sweden isn't even in bed with him. The smell of food from downstairs tells Finland that Sweden is cooking breakfast.

Grudgingly, the Finnish man gets out of bed, only half-ready to face another day.


	2. Chapter 2

Finland rubbed his eyes as he walked downstairs, Hanatamago, his dog that he oh so loved, following close behind, yapping at him excitedly.

When he gets to the kitchen, Sweden greets him with some water and a couple of pills for his hangover headache. Without thinking, Finland gives Sweden a kiss on the cheek, murmuring a thank you as he takes the pills. Has it become habit at this point? Finland asks himself internally, why would I kiss him? Why would I lead him on even more by doing tha-

Finland's thoughts are cut short by Hana barking at his feet, and he smiles. ''Hey, girl. What's got you so excited today?" He picks her up. The only response Finland gets is a couple licks to the face.

Sweden sets the table and Finland puts Hana down, going and sitting down to eat.

They sit in a silence that Sweden surely thinks is a content one, but Finland feels like prey, being stalked and watched by a predator who can attack at any time. It's a feeling Finland has only felt few times in his long life, but every single time, he despises it. He feels like he needs to claw his way out, but he knows that Sweden has a gentle heart; One that can break quite easily. Unfortunately, Finland was pulled into this entire mess by not wanting to break that fragile heart.

"Yer picking at yer food." Sweden notices, "What's wrong?"

Finland just gives a small smile, "Nothing's wrong, I'm just thinking about something."

"Thinkin' about what?" Sweden asks, wanting to have a conversation.

"Nothing important." And with that, Finland shatters the hopes of having a chat that Sweden oh so wanted to have. Just to fill the silence and to hear Finland's voice more. Sweden absolutely loved the sound of his lover's voice, and it never failed to seduce him all over again.

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm going to go work on some paperwork, I've been falling behind recently." Finland stood up all of the sudden, about to walk away. He hesitated for a moment.

"Thank you for the food."

Finland didn't miss how Sweden's eyes lit up just the slightest, or that tiny smile working its way onto the Swede's face.

He then walks out of the room, going to his study. Once Finland reaches it, he closes the door and leans against it, but then notices Hana has somehow gotten in. Finland sighs while petting her,

"What am I going to do?"

Of course, the only response he gets in turn is a bark and a wag of Hana's tail. But he smiles anyway, happy that Hana couldn't judge him if she tried to. Ignoring the fact that she can't judge him only because she's a dog, Finland got up and went to the desk, pulling out some papers and setting Hana on his lap once he took a seat.

"Another day, more paperwork." The Finnish man sighed to himself. "Why can't they just do it themselves?"

When Finland was halfway through with the stack of torture- er, well, papers, there was a knock at the door.

He turned his head just as Sweden poked his in the doorway.

"I brought lunch." The Swede then opened the door all the way and gave Finland a plate of food.

Finland set it off to the side, "Thank you, I'll eat when I'm done."

But then Sweden frowned, and Finland's blood ran cold in fear. How long had it been since the man last frowned? Finland didn't know, but he didn't miss the sight of it one bit.

"Yer always working, come on, take a break."

Finland, too scared to say no to his scary 'boyfriend,' accepted. And now he found himself, terrified and being held on the couch while watching a movie with Sweden. He wondered if the paperwork was worse than this, and ultimately decided that paperwork was something he'd commit any crime not to do.

Plus, in a way, being held like this was comforting..

No, wait, Finland tried to silence his thoughts. He was scared of the Swede, and always will be. There's no love there for him. It's one-sided.

Somehow, the Finnish man found himself in doubt, and luckily, just luckily, Sweden didn't notice how Finland wasn't paying attention to the TV.

By the time the movie was over, Finland had somehow gotten bored enough to fall asleep in Sweden's arms. And Sweden, even though he wasn't tired and wanted to get up, stayed there, just because he loved the Finn and wouldn't want to wake him up from the peaceful slumber he was in.

Sweden wouldn't trade this moment for the world.


End file.
